Reflection and Love

I am not even going to pretend I have everything figured out...but I do know one thing..... I LOVE MY BOYS and THEY LOVE ME!

I am sure some of you have read about my struggle to figure out who I am over the past year, and I am beginning to put the pieces together.

I read this quote right after I had Shaefer, and saved it on my computer. You can call it a coincidence that I found it again today - but I think it was inspired!

"Mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life. It is not surprising when the shadows under their eyes sometimes vaguely resemble the state of Rhode Island....You are doing God's work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you, and He will bless you, even - no, especially - when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master's garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and weep over the responsibility as mothers, 'Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.' and it will make your children whole as well".

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland "Because She Is a Mother"

I have really been thinking alot lately about who I am, who I want to be, and who Shaefer and Anson need me to be. The conclusion I have come to is this:

I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and he is waiting for any opportunity to bless me.
I am a wife because I chose to marry this guy - who knows why he chose me but he did.

I am Shaefer's Mom because I chose to be - who knows why we are blessed to have him in our family but we are.

I am a teacher to 28 unique 5th graders because I chose to be, some days I don't know why....but most of the time I love my job!

I want to be a good example for my little kido and help him to grow up in a home that is full of light and love!
I want to be someone who is needed and runs to those who need me.
I want to be a mother and a wife who is there for my boys whenever the need me.

Shaef and Anson need me to be the best ME I can be!!

I truely believe I have always known who I am, who I want to be, and who Shaefer and Anson need me to be - and it has always been ME! It is a choice everyday about what I want to do and who I want to be - and I have the things I have because of choices I have made! I don't deserve the life that I am living but I am doing my best every day to be worthy of the blessings that Heavenly Father has given me!

I am so grateful for Anson and for his willingness to make sure I know how much he loves me - especially when I am not giving him any reason to love me! I am so grateful for Shaefer for the little smiles, giggles, and cuddles he gives me, showing me that he loves me! I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father for blessing me and showing me his love everyday, even when I don't deserve it.

I am just me and I LOVE MY LIFE!